Travel Log

This past month has been a month of travels and adventures. If you know me at all (which you do – you’re reading this blog, for crying out loud), then you know that my life has been anything but stationary. In my baby book, “first flight” comes chronologically before “first step” and I definitely had a more robust frequent flyer account as a toddler than any average adult.

In small part, I measure the success of a year based on the number of places I visit. On that account, you can call this last month an impressive success.

Kansas City, Missouri:

This was a work trip, but I also got some time to explore the city with my fabulous boss, Rachel. And what can I say? I’ll never complain about a meeting that happens over a heaping plate of barbecue. We will be returning to Kansas City this summer with a group to represent Trinity at a conference, so this was more of a teaser trip. It’s always nice to know that you will be returning to a place – it lessens the expectation to see and do everything all at once. I am glad we will be going back to KC, because my two days here were very fantastic.

      

      

Highlight: It’s a toss-up – I mean, those budget talks in the airport were pretty thrilling – but I’d say the best part of the trip was dinner at Oklahoma Joe’s with Rachel (Director of Marketing at Trinity) and Laurie (our contact with the conference). It’s a barbecue joint in a gas station, and although I was initially skeptical, I must say it was absolutely delicious.

What I wish I’d seen: I think KC has a lot to offer, and I know I haven’t gotten to see much of it yet. When I return this summer, I’m going to try to make time to see some of the fountains that the city is famous for…either that or a Royals game!

 

Washington, D.C. (and surrounding area):

This was also a work-related trip… ish. I flew in and out within 24 hours, and was just in town for a couple meetings, so I didn’t get to do too many exciting things in the way of touring the city. However, the trip itself was great. I loved getting the chance to get out of Illinois in what still seems to be the middle of winter. Any trip that gets me out of 20-degree weather and into 50+ degrees is a winner in my book.

      

Highlight: One of my good friends is working an internship out in D.C., so we got to grab dinner at the airport on the evening I arrived. A major benefit of the life I’ve lived is that I have friends all over (convenient link to previous blog post!), and these short trips give me the chance to see some of them and catch up, even if just briefly.

What I wish I’d seen: Well, a lot of things. The beauty of D.C. is that there is A LOT to see. Being the nerd that I am, I would’ve loved to go by the Smithsonian’s Natural History Museum or the Library of Congress. The WWII Memorial also would have been on my list – I’ve been before, but I was way younger, so I’d love to visit again after having done so much reading and research on the war.

 

Seattle, Washington:

[Exhale.] Ah, family. This was the most life-giving trip on the list. My sister and brother-in-law live in Seattle, and my trip out there was purely bliss. I took some vacation from work, disconnected from the good ol’ email, and had the chance to just relax with some of my favorite people in the world. Ain’t nothing better than that.

      

      

Highlight(s): Game night. Gasworks Park. Dim Sum. Pike Place Market. Banh Mi. Waffles and bacon. Church. Russian orthodox Lenten festival. TV show premiere party. University of Washington cherry blossoms. EVERYTHING.

 What I wish I’d seen: More time on the clock. My time here went by so quickly, and leaving was hard. I only get to see Sandra and Eric a couple times a year, so the time spent with them is time I deeply cherish. Leaving is always the worst.

 

So there you have it, a peek into my illustrious life of traveling (aka, “how much time can Becca spend in airports before going crazy?”). My travel docket is mostly empty for the next couple months, but then the world will be seeing more of me this summer. Stay tuned.

Grace Must Abound

As I struggle to formulate the words for this post, I rest in the fact that Christ abides among His people. I rest knowing that my voice will never have the last say. I rest in the I AM for being what I am not.

Many years of faith have shown me the immense care and love that can emerge among the people of God. Nowhere have I felt more loved than in the arms of Christ and within the fold of His body, the Church. Nowhere have I felt His grace more tangibly than among the prayers of His people. Nowhere have I felt so drawn to the foot of the cross of Christ as I have in the beautiful community of believers, of family, which is united in His blood.

However, I have also felt the sting of judgment. Many parts of my life seem to not fit into the normative cultural patterns of Christian living, and I often feel as though I am failing to live up to people’s expectations of what it means to be a Christian in this stage of life. Misunderstanding and misalignment have led to conversations that leave me feeling like an empty version of myself, worth less than if I were able to meet another’s expectations of what faith should look like in my life.

One area where I have been challenged is in regard to my career ambitions and my professional drive. As a business major in my undergrad years and with aspirations to work in the corporate world, I have many times had a conversation that culminated in a statement such as: “I don’t know how you can claim to be a Christian and yet want to work in such a corrupt place as corporate America.” Much of this comes on the back of conversations surrounding my rich legacy of work directly with the Church in missions, and my perception is that people believe I am throwing away my heart for the Church by choosing to express my giftings in a different arena. My theology of vocation leads me to believe that working in a “secular” organization provides as much opportunity for ministry as does a “sacred” organization, and my desire to work in a corporate sphere does not negate my ability to be impactful in the kingdom of God. When people question my professional motivations on the basis of how effective my ministry can be, it communicates to me that there is only a narrow way in which God can use me for His purposes.

Interested in what I’ve read that has informed this perspective? Check out Redeeming Law by Michael P. Schutt.

The other area is maybe the one most talked about by others in the Christian blog-o-sphere, and that is in the area of my relationship status. Recently, a friend asked me if there was a man in my life. When I said no, the follow-up question was, “Well, what are you doing about it?” This exemplifies what I’ve felt so often on this topic, which is that if I am not in a relationship, it must be because I am not trying hard enough. My response to him, which I firmly stand by and which then stemmed a great conversation between us, was that there are many things I desire in life – a relationship is one of those things, but it is not the only thing. This season of life finds me pursuing fulfillment of some other desires, and a relationship is truly not top-of-mind right now. Specifically, there has been an emphasis on academic and professional development in my life recently, which I have quite enjoyed. For me, my relationship status does not define who I am in Christ, though I have sometimes fooled myself into thinking it should. When others place such heavy importance on the presence (or lack thereof) of a man in my life, it leaves me feeling undervalued as an individual.

Rachel Held Evans, a mildly-controversial writer I’ve come to love, sums it up well in this short-but-powerful post.

[The other area I would bring up is my involvement and investment in leadership. This merits its own post, as by blog-writing rules I’m probably losing your interest right about now and have too much to say on this topic anyways. Stay tuned, then.]

I would never make the argument that the people on the other ends of these conversations were directly questioning my faith. I believe the intention has always been good and pure, but the implication of these words and actions has led me to feel a lack of support in my faith concerning these specific areas.

I recognize that there will always be areas where people feel criticized and under-supported in their Christian walk.

I recognize that I have surely perpetuated similar harmful messages in the lives of other people, many times without realizing how truly harmful my words were to them.

I also recognize that questions and criticism can be food for necessary change in someone’s Christian walk – the Lord knows how many times I have been moved to repentance based on conversations where someone questioned why my faith was playing out in a certain way. There is merit in these conversations, but there is also a potential for undeserved pain.

There is an ache in my heart, and it seems this ache is bound to remain. Throughout years of questions, years of seeking answers on what responsibility we have to fit into the culture of our Christian faith, I have walked away primarily knowing that every person has felt the pain of judgment. When pain meets pain, grace must abound.